I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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