I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
