jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
