I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
