If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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