we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My hand turned me down
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He felt like a one man threesome
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
