I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just threw up on my dentist
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
