i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
