Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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