I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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