She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
