Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
