pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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