I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
