dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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