Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
