Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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