i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
