New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So vagazzling was a success
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
