Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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