so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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