Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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