Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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