people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
