i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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