I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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