NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
