Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
