Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
