she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
