it wasn't lemon gatorade
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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