elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
