I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
