How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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