at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
