Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
