is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
