she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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