Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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