only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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