The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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