Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize