My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize