The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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