Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
