your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this will be a night to untag.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
