Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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