similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
