Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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