Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
