I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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