He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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