the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
