Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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