Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
