i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
