So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
