Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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