nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize