she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
