Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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