Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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