I heard we made out
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
