I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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