It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
